Idle and the Bear: The Wonder Years Record Release Show 2011

So, The Wonder Years' record release show was broadcasted live on Hopeless Records tonight. So I guess it's like the 2nd best thing to having been able to actually go to the show...or maybe the 7th or 8th best thing. It's something at least, and I love when bands do this shit. The show was slated to start at 9:45 PM, and I'm typing this as it progresses...and it's sbout ten minutes in and nothing has happened yet. I guess this show is running at punk rock time slots, and that's pretty cool I suppose. I caught a little bit of the Fireworks set earlier...and the crowd kind of looked like a bunch of unenthused stepford wives. People should be way more excited about such an awesome show...but I guess that's not how bro-core dudes roll. I'm going to be editing this post everytime I type a new paragraph as the show progresses.

Along with the video being streamed online, there was this whole chat interface next to the video full of idiots and bigger idiots posting every split second about absolutely fucking nothing. It said "non-idiots need not submit" when I tried to add to he conversation, so I didn't say anything. Actually, I didn't really try to. Seriously...it was pretty bad. For those of you who also tuned in, you were given the privilege of watching the band set up while reggae music played into your headphones (assuming you have to wear headphones due to your dad trying to watch How I Met Your Mother in the same room...by the way, this show is getting in the way of watching How I Met Your Mother...fuck). Sound check took fucking ages. They shouldn't have turned on the video until it was done, honestly.

Finally the lights go as dim as the point in the livestream chat...and then they go as red as my vision when reading the chat. The Wonder Years are playing! The viewers mark has reached 1,181 viewers by the point of me typing this, and my excitement has been turned up to 11! What's up with Soupy and hoodies? Is he Mike from The Devil Sucks At Playing Music. They kick off the set with one of the best songs off Suburbia, "Local Man Ruins Everything. Everything" sounds awesome...except the backup vocals...they're so fucking loud and obnoxious. I really hope somebody gets on top of that shit. God I want to be there so fucking badly. This shit is being played as tight as it was recorded and I fucking love it.

Soupy took the hoodie off during Local Man. Oh shit, shit must be going down! Oh shit, now this song I accidentally ripped off is coming on. "Everything I Own Fits in This Backpack". I'm pretty sure The Wonder Years are about to have an orgasm due to how many fans they have at this show...I totally wouldn't put it past them. Seriously, for how much shit goes on in a typical Wonder Years song, these guys execute it like it's nothing and it's really breathtaking. I'm really stoked on this show. The backup vocal volume got a little bit better, and that's awesome.

The instrumentals sound completely amazing in this...the quality is rad. Soupy opened up "Dynamite Shovel" by saying something like, "fuck your racism, fuck your homophobia" or something...I forget. But, we all knew what was coming on once he said it!

OH SHIT, THEY'RE PLAYING "WHEN KEEPING IT REAL GOES WRONG"! SUCH AN AMAZING FUCKING SONG. Sorry, I got carried away just there. How dare me be so cavalier as to hit the caps locks button. I mean, you understand...this is like one of the few gems off of their first full length 'Get Stoked On It'. My friend Holly's convinced the song is about her life. This honestly has to be the best show The Wonder Years have ever put on. It's so fucking awesome.

Woo! Another song off the new album! "Coffee Eyes". Not really in my list of favorites, but a great song nonetheless. I lied though...the backup vocals are still too loud and obnoxious.

Okay, now they're playing "Melrose Diner", which is the song that somehow got me into The Wonder Years. I went to Fest with my friends Holly and Dan (who are now dating) and since it was Holly's car it was Holly's music...and this song came on like a million times. It took some time to get beaten into my skull...but I was eventually subdued and completely hooked. It's now at 1,250 viewers! Fucking ridiculous.

There was a shout out to Johnny Tsunami's wrestling group after the song...because they did the Melrose Diner music video...and it was awesome.

Okay, what the fuck is going on right now? The whole intro performance of "Won't Be Pathetic Forever" was all scrambled up and out of time and everything. Oh shit, Hank the Pigeon is on stage!!! I'm getting that dude tattooed on me somewhere. Probably my ass...that's the most logical place. He can take shits with me. Pigeon style. Okay, this song is sounding beyond awful. What the fuck? I'm blaming the sound guys. Okay, I feel bad about doing that. The sound guys are working really hard.

The shit's getting a little confusing in the mix...for some reason it was all going perfectly at the beginning...but now some shit's too loud or too quiet compared to other things going on.

Time for "My Last Semester"...so fucking good. This is the bear's favorite Wonder Years song. That and "Melrose Diner" and "Hey Thanks". If you were to ask me to cite an example of perfect lyricism...I would direct you to this song...and every song The Wonder Years have released since their 'Won't Be Pathetic Forever 7"'. I think this live streaming show was the perfect "welcome home, failure" present. I tried to make a life in the mid-west, but the rust belt keeps breaking promises.

I want to be among this fucking crowd. I need to learn to apparate like Harry fucking Potter. "It's Never Sunny in South Philadelphia" is one fo the best songs ever fucking written...and I'm such a fanboy for saying it, but it's definitely about my life. Whatever. I said it. Deal with it. You're the one reading a super fucking long review of a Wonder Years show...you're the fanboy, not me. "IT'S LIKE I'M CHASING AMBULANCES; TRYING TO PULL OUT SOMETHING FROM THE WRECKAGE. BECAUSE NOTHING EVER WORKS OUT THE WAY WE FUCKING PLANNED IT." Seriously, who can keep themselves from screaming along to that? Plus, the second verse is just too fucking on par. "You know that I can't take naps, 'cus they end in panic attacks. I can't play video games; I always end up depressed. I CAN'T BE LEFT ALONE NOW, FOR EVEN A SECOND, BECAUSE I'M A BURDEN! (BUT AT LEAST I KNOW IT!)" Seriously....amazing.

Hank the Pigeon's theme song! "My Life As a Pigeon" is one of the phenomenal new songs by The Wonder Years and it's a fucking relief that they fit it into their set. It's seriously one of the songs that makes the middle of Suburbia as awesome as the beginning and end...it's a solid effort throughout.

Another one of the best songs ever written by any band ever in the history of time itself, "Logan Circle". I would murder so many pizza slices in order to be teleported to this show. I'll murder a bunch of pizza slices just for pizza's sake, too. I don't have too many specifications regarding that.

Johnny Tsuanmi from We Are the Union and The Flaming Tsunamis and Nix 86 is now on the stage to perform "Hey Thanks"...which involves Rachel from Zolof and Matt Belanger (ex-WATU) on the recording. I never really liked this song until recently...and this performance might just be making me like it even more. Sax it up, John! The sax really does sound fucking awesome...it should be a permanent installment. :D

Another song off Suburbia now, "Woke Up Older". They're definitely playing the best songs off the new record. This song is all positive sounding for lyrics that depress the shit out of me. The sound is back to sounding fucking amazing again by this point. This song sounds so fucking powerful. I love it.

"An Elegy For Baby Blue" isn't really a song I've gotten into yet. I've heard it plenty of times...because it pops up on my Call of Duty bro-mix from time to time, but I've never jammed out to it. Seeing it performed this awesomely live kind of makes me more fond of it. I really need to use the floo network to get to this show right away.

Two more songs now!

They're playing "You're Not Salinger, Get Over It!" I fucking love this song. God damn, that whole EP shits gold for breakfast. "My friends and I are all fucked on the inside!" I think The Wonder Years might be music majors with an emphasis in Set List Creation. I mean, that's just a stupid Drive Thru Records DVD reference...but it's still pretty fitting for the situation. This is an amazing show they're putting on, and we should all wish we were there right now.

I'm so glad they're playing "All My Friends Are In Bar Bands". It's one of those songs that you'd want to sue them for not playing at a show like this. They said it's the last song, but we all know they're going to play another off the new album and another fan favorite before this shit is officially over. Everyone got on stage for Bar Bands' finale, and it was fucking awesome.

OH SHIT, it's "Keystone State Dudecore"!!!! I fucking love this song. It's one of the best fucking things they've even recorded and it's beyond amazing. And, I was at least right by saying they'd do two more songs! Because now they're playing "Washington Square Park". Life = Complete.

The Wonder Years know how to end a show: that's a fucking fact. If I were there for this amazing experience, I would just sign off on life right now because nothing could possibly top it. The ending was so amazing but I'm still surprised it's legitimately over. I'm not buying it.

Well, it's over! It's been real, internet! Hopefully this shit ends up on youtube or whatever for those of you who missed it! Good night!

-Idle

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Check out photos of the show over at photographer Maria Qualtieri's Flickr page! And like her facebook!