I think I must be slipping in my old age, because I often come across bands much later than I would expect myself to. I mean, the split I'm reviewing tonight was released on Kiss of Death Records in November, dude, fucking November. But, I guess it's better now than never.
Here's all I know about the bands from each side of the split. I know that Stolen Parts are from Brooklyn and are releasing their debut 7'' on yoyo records (Lemuria, Iron Chic, RVIVR, Deny Everything). And all I know about Teenage Softies is that the girl Abby in the band is a fan of The Muffs (you know, the band with that girl who sung on that Nofx song that Sublime ripped off) and that she stole Jon Lewis's (Dopamines, Black Tie Bombers) sleeping bag at a party. So basically, I don't know shit about these dudes that you couldn't learn online pretty quickly.
The split starts off with Teenage Softies, a band which is primary fronted by a female vocalist, whom I assume is Abby of Muff fandom fame. The quality is on the low side, and the songs do suffer from this, but it's not the worst thing in the world; I listen to Punkin Pie and that shit sounds like it's recorded on my netbook's internal microphone. Some dude also sings some of the vocals, but I really wish he didn't. That's rude, I know, but it just doesn't sound good. It's kind of like the way Reed sung/shouted for the original We Are the Union EP. There's a reason he quit trying to hard to hide his real voice, and he's benefited from reworking that shit. This guy could definitely do the same.
The songs on this side of the split instrumentally sound like pretty basic midwest pop punk...not saying they're from the midwest or anything, because I honestly do not know. I'm not really severely concerned with this side of the mix. It's underwhelming overall, but it's still decent tunes.
The second side of this split is dominated by a band that sounds like Jawbreaker mixed with Lemuria, and they go by the name Stolen Parts. I lied when I summed up everything I know about them, actually. I know that they have members from Latterman, OWTH, Discount, Monikers, and Bridge and Tunnel. This makes me feel even moreso dumb for not recognizing their existence, really.
Stolen Parts dominate this split in my opinion, with their instrumentals sounding pretty much like Lemuria, Latterman, and Jawbreaker kind of meshed together, and their vocals just straight up reminding me of Blake Schwarzenbach (singer of Jawbreaker and Jets to Brazil). Two songs doesn't give you too much of an idea of who the band is, but it's awesome that they put material out. The songs are catchy, and while the lead guitar is nothing to call your mom about, it still fills the songs in nicely, and feels pretty necessary for that. You should definitely head over to Kiss of Death Records and get either your digital hands or your real hands on this release. You won't regret it, unless you're weird.
By the way, I spent most of the day wearing my friend's pink snuggie.